The Helmsman's Log - 2371
by L.E. Jones
Summary: The first in a collection of Tom Paris' personal logs during Voyager's seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Part 1 focuses upon the ship's first year, 2371.


TITLE: THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS - 2371  
AUTHOR: L.E. Jones  
CODE: Paris, Crew, P/f  
RATING: [PG-13]   
SUMMARY: The first in a collection of Tom Paris' personal logs during Voyager's seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Part 1 focuses upon the ship's first year, 2371.  
FEEDBACK: lee6613@lycos.com - I would appreciate constructive feedback. Thank you.  
DISCLAIMER: Tom Paris and all other characters related to Star Trek Voyager belong to Paramount, Viacom, Rick Berman, the Roddenberry family and other Trek producers.   
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I had recently read J.A. Toner's marvelous "Log Entries", a collection of B'Elanna Torres' personal logs from Season 1 to mid-Season 5. For a while, I had hoped she would write a similar story from Tom Paris' viewpoint, but, so far, it has not happened. In the end, I decided to take on that task myself. This story is a collection of Tom's logs during Voyager's years in the DQ.  
  
Also, Season 2 episodes like "Projection", "Twisted", "Elogium" and "The 37s" were originally supposed to air in Season 1, after "Learning Curve". Therefore, the incidents featured in those episodes will be covered in Part One.  
  
  
"THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS" by L.E. Jones   
  
PART ONE - 2371:  
  
  
STARDATE 48316.7 - I'm back on a Starfleet vessel. I can't believe it! If only Dad could see me now. I can imagine how he would feel. Then again, maybe not. I never understood Owen Paris. Nor has he ever understood me. I have met the person whom Dad could relate to. And probably did. Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship, VOYAGER.  
  
Gods, I'm regressing. I better start from the beginning. It all began two days ago. I was serving my eighteen month sentence at the Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand - otherwise known as Club Fed, repairing a ? generator, when a throaty voice called out my name. I looked up and there stood this red-haired goddess in a Starfleet uniform. Maybe goddess isn't the right word. The good Captain is what one would describe as diminutive in height. But despite that, she did have presence.  
  
To make a long story short, Captain Janeway asked me to help search for a particular Maquis ship that had disappeared in the Badlands. It seemed her security chief was part of the crew - as a Starfleet spy. And guess who commanded this particular crew? My old 'buddy', Chakotay. I can imagine that bastard's reaction, when learns that I helped Starfleet hunt down his precious ship. Did I say when? That's right. Despite the fact that helping Janeway locate her missing officer seemed like a hopeless task, I decided to accept her offer. And why not? I certainly have no loyalty toward Chakotay and his bunch. Hell, they made my life miserable during my few weeks in the Maquis. And Janeway has offered to add a word or two to my next parole review. Who could resist that?  
  
So, here I am, aboard VOYAGER. I must say that she seemed like one hell of a ship. Gods, I would give my right leg to set at the helm. But it would never happen. Caldik Prime and my stint in the Maquis made sure of that.  
  
Speaking of Caldik Prime, it seems to have follow me here to Voyager. The ship's doctor brought it up the moment I introduced myself to him. He had been the chief medical officer at the base on Caldik Prime, at the time. The First Officer didn't say a word. At least not with Janeway looking on. But that sneer on his face and his hesitation to shake my hand, said a thousand words.  
  
If it weren't for Harry, this damn trip would have been a bust. Ensign Harry Kim. They don't make Starfleet ensigns greener than him. I had to save him from a Ferengi barkeep on Deep Space Nine, bent on cheating him out of a few latinum. A few years on a Starfleet vessel should rid him of that naivety. And I'm sure that once Cavit or Dr. Fitzgerald tell him about the real Tom Paris, he'll wise up to me. Damn! Harry is one of the few people on this ship I really like. Just as well. I won't be around very long. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48324.61 - A lot has happened in the past few days. Hell, I don't know where to begin. VOYAGER got flung 70,000 light years into the Delta Quadrant by some entity on an array station. This little journey cost the ship several key officers - including Cavit, Fitzgerald, the chief engineer and the lovely Lieutenant Stadi. What a shame about Stadi. I rather liked her.  
  
The crew was beamed to the array, disguised as some Midwestern farm. Some holographic beauty punched me. We also found the Maquis crew in a state of unconsciousness. And we ended up in the same position for three days, while the entity poked and prodded us. Even worse, I had a 'pleasant' little reunion with Chakotay on the Bridge. The poor bastard was surprised to learn that his Vulcan weapons man turned out to be a Starfleet spy. And embarrassed when Janeway prevented him from beating the tar out of me. I would have enjoyed his embarrassment even further, if it wasn't for Harry's disappearance.  
  
It seems that the being on the array had failed to return a Maquis engineer and poor Harry to their respective ships. Which has made me worried. About Harry, I mean. He was the first person I could truly call a friend. Even after Cavit and Fitzgerald told him about the three people I killed at Caldik Prime, and how I got cashiered, he still wanted to remain my friend. What did he say? "I prefer to choose my own friends." Gods, what a friend! And now, he's missing. I only hope that Captain Janeway can get him back before something happens to him. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48327.97 - It looks as if VOYAGER is stranded in the Delta Quadrant. For good. I don't mind. Ever since the ship got lost, life has . . . well, it has turned out for the better.  
  
I don't have to return to prison. We found Harry, along with the Maquis engineer, on some planet a few light years away from the array. I saved Chakotay's butt in the Ocampan tunnels and earned myself a bodyguard. I'll need one now that the Maquis has joined the crew, after Chakotay destroyed their ship during a battle with a warlike race called the Kazon. The crew has also acquired a couple of hitchhikers - a funny-looking joker named Neelix. He's a Talaxian. Our other hitchhiker is an Ocampan woman named Kes, whom we had saved from the Kazon. She's very beautiful.   
  
Best of all, Captain Janeway has given me a field commission with the rank of lieutenant . . . along with the Conn Division. Which means that I am now VOYAGER's chief pilot. Isn't life grand? I only hope that I can make up to Janeway for all she has done for me. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48339.17 - Life aboard VOYAGER isn't bad. Well . . . not that bad. I have to keep an eye out for the Maquis crewmen. Just in case they decide to use me as a punching bag for helping Janeway track them to the Badlands. I suspect that a good number of the Starfleeters might want to do the same.  
  
There is the Conn Division. On one hand, being head of the division entitles me the position of chief pilot. So far, none of them have been openly hostile - except for Henley, the lone Maquis. And yet, they seemed reluctant to seriously pay attention to the training I have devised for the division. I'm trying to be thrilled about my new position as VOYAGER's chief helmsman, but it's damn difficult to command a group of people who consider me a criminal that deserves to spend the next 70 years in the brig. How do you lead people like that?  
  
It finally came to a head when I tried to give them a pep talk about learning new piloting maneuvers. "We're Starfleet pilots," Jon Hamilton had said. "Which means that we were trained at the Academy, just like you. At least none of us had killed anyone in a shuttle crash. And later lied about it." For that remark, I assigned Hamilton to the Beta shift for the next two weeks. Hey, I never claimed to be saint. Vindictive, yes. But not a saint. After my little disciplinary action with Hamilton, the other pilots have ceased questioning my piloting skills.  
  
Chakotay certainly doesn't make life easy. Now that he is VOYAGER's First Officer, he seems more interested in acting as my tormentor, instead of bodyguard. If I'm two or three minutes late on the Bridge, he doesn't hesitate to point it out in front of everyone. Even worse, I've been summoned on several occasions, regarding tardiness and Starfleet procedures. Mind you, this is coming from a man who once dropped out of Starfleet to join a terrorist group.  
  
At least I have Harry's friendship. I don't know how long that will last. Especially, since he has become friends with that half-Klingon he was trapped on the Ocampan homeworld with. Her name is B'Elanna Torres and she works in Engineering. I never met her during my stint in the Maquis. I had only been with Chakotay's cell for a few weeks before my capture, and she was on a top-secret mission, at the time. I must admit that I find her very beautiful, although somewhat temperamental. She has made it clear that like her fellow Maquis, she dislikes me. Not that I care. I'm not exactly fond of her. I don't mind her bad temper, but I find her self-righteousness a little hard to take. A taint she has obviously picked up from Chakotay, while they were both in the Maquis. I only hope that she doesn't come between Harry and me. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48443.01 - Nothing much happened recently. VOYAGER got trapped into an event horizon. Which brought on the sticky subject of temporal mechanics. Gods, I hate dealing with that! It was one of my worst subjects in the Academy. One good thing came out of it. The pilots under me wanted to know how I flew VOYAGER out of that horizon. Even Hamilton. To be honest, I did nothing spectacular. Especially since Janeway ordered me to use the ship like a battering ram for our escape.  
  
The event horizon brought about another change. Joe Carey is no longer VOYAGER's Chief Engineer. B'Elanna Torres, Harry's half-Klingon friend, has become the new chief. Despite breaking Carey's nose in three different places. If that's how one can become chief engineer, how does one become the first officer? Or the captain? Chakotay must be thrilled that his little protégée has joined the senior staff.   
  
One last little tidbit that hasn't exactly made my day. Because of a course in biochemistry I took at Starfeet, I am now the new medical assistant and have to work with that holographic egomaniac in Sick Bay. Sometimes I think the gods must hate me. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48533.7 - Gods, it's been one hell of a day! VOYAGER came across a new race called the Vidiians, while searching for a supply of dilithium.  
  
These Vidiians are a race, who have been inflicted by some deadly virus called the phage, for the past millinium or two. To keep their race alive, the Vidiians have engaged in stealing organs from other humanoids. Ugh! While on an Away mission with Harry and Chakotay, Neelix had his lungs stolen by two Vidiians.  
  
If one ever thought that doctors made lousy patients, try dealing with an annoying Talaxian. I would have removed those holographic lungs the Doc had created for Neelix, just for a little peace and quiet, if it weren't for Kes. She seemed very concerned about Neelix and I had to assure her that he would make it through this crisis. I just don't get it! What does Kes see in a guy like Neelix, anyway? Gratitude for saving her from the Kazon? Fortunately, VOYAGER managed to capture the two Vidiians and one of them turned out to be a physician. He found a way to alter a donated lung to match Neelix's physiology. Guess who turned out to be the donator? That's right, Kes. Sigh!  
  
Speaking of doctors, our own chief medical officer is turning out to be a real pain in the ass. I could understand the little lecture about holographic matter and so forth. But did the bastard have to slap my face to prove his point? If you ask me, the man is a sadist. Maybe I can find a way to change his personality subroutines. I've always been pretty good at holoprogramming. There is one thing to be thankful. Kes has just become the new medical assistant. Which means I won't have to hang around Sickbay - unless necessary.  
  
Oh, I forgot. Neelix has converted the Captain's private dining room into the galley. And now, VOYAGER has a genuine mess hall. Now that we have a cook, the crew can save replicator energy. I don't know about the rest of them, but I think I'll stick with replicated food. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48549.92 - How can I put this in a nutshell? VOYAGER explored a nebula, still in search for a supply of dilithium. The nebula turned out to be a living organism that we damaged during our little exploration trip. With a little fancy flying from me, along with the Doctor and Torres' expertise, we managed to repair the damage to the nebu . . . uh, the life form. Of course, all of this resulted in VOYAGER being drained another 20% of energy.  
  
Anything else? Oh yes. Neelix decided to entertain the Bridge crew with a few selections of Talaxian hors d'erves. Which I declined - naturally. I also discovered that Harry remembers being inside his mother's womb. What a shame there isn't a ship's counselor on board. I think Harry could really use one.  
  
I also introduced Harry to my new holoprogram - a recreation of one of my favorite spots in the universe, Sandrine's. It's a tavern I used to frequent, when I spent my second year in the Academy at a Starfleet base in Marsailles, France. This prompted Harry to remark that I miss Earth. Hell, if Earth only consisted of Sandrine's, I would. By the way, I believe that Sandrine, herself, has developed a little interest in my good buddy.  
  
After our encounter with the nebula/life form, the rest of the crew decided to try out my program. Including the Captain, who turned out to be quite the pool hustler. If only Starfleet knew. The only person who seems to dislike Sandrine's was Lieutenant Torres. One of my characters, Gaunt Gary, tried to proposition her. She, in turn, called us both pigs. You know, I'm beginning to suspect that Torres really lacks a sense of humor. If the Captain could tolerate a few innuendos with good grace, why couldn't she? End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48558.22 - Ran into Kes in the Mess Hall, this evening. Since Neelix was busy preparing dinner for the crew, I decided to offer her a little company. I learned a lot about Kes. About her parents, her childhood on the Ocampan homeworld, and her captivity by the Kazons. We spent so much time talking about her that we barely touched on my background. Which suited me just fine. Besides, with a certain Talaxian cook giving us the evil eye every now and then, we decided to end our little conversation. What the hell is wrong with Neelix, anyway? Did he honestly think I would steal Kes from him? Or ravage her? Hell, the worst anyone could accuse me of is introducing Kes to my favorite drink - spinach juice, with a touch of pear. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48579.93 - We came so close to returning to the Alpha Quadrant. Too close, if you ask me. Thank goodness for bad luck.  
  
Harry had discovered a wormhole that might lead back home. Although I joked about the Federation (science institute) naming the wormhole after him, inside I was filled with dread. Home? Who wanted to go there? As far as I'm concerned, VOYAGER is home. In the end, we discovered that the wormhole was too small for the ship to travel through. The Captain ordered Lieutenant Tuvok to launch a probe through the wormhole, anyway. I suspect that she had hoped to make contact with Starfleet. The probe got stuck in some eddy, thanks to some phase variance. But we managed to eventually make contact with a Romulan. Fortunately, this Romulan refused to talk and cut off communication. But that didn't deter my good buddy, Harry. While the rest of us slept, he decided to continue attempts to re-establish contact with the Romulan. Gods! What does he hope to accomplish? End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48582.31 - The wormhole turned out to be a bust and boy, I am relieved! Hell, a return to the Alpha Quadrant would mean only one thing for me - a reunion with my fellow convicts at the Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand. And that's a fate I would like to avoid, thank you very much.  
  
For a while, it seemed that the Alpha Quadrant awaited us. Not only did Captain Janeway managed to re-establish contact with the Romulan, Torres found a way to transport both objects and people through the wormhole. Our Romulan contact, a scientist on a top secret science vessel, became the first humanoid to be transported through a wormhole, from one quadrant to another.  
  
Then fortune finally stepped in when Tuvok discovered that the phase variance caused us so much trouble, because the wormhole not only lead to the Alpha Quadrant, but also twenty years in the past. Also, our Romulan visitor will not live long enough to send our messages to the Federation. I realize that the others are upset, but as far as I'm concerned - all's well that ends well. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48588.21 - It's been difficult containing my glee over our failed attempt with the wormhole. I must be the only person aboard VOYAGER - aside from Neelix and Kes - who isn't disappointed. Although I suspect that our Delta Quadrant natives are disappointed on behalf of the crew..  
  
Harry has been in a funk, over the past two days. I tried to cheer him up with a trip to Sandrine's. Instead, he accused me of being glad over the whole debacle. How could I deny the truth? Right now, he's in Torres' quarters and both are probably weeping together over lost opportunities. Do Klingons weep? I have to look that up.  
  
I can understand why Harry, the Captain and other 'Fleeters are upset. But why are the Maquis? Don't they realize that a return to the Alpha Quadrant meant a few years in prison for them? They sure as hell can't return to fighting Cardassians. After all, they're now officially Starfleet prisoners.  
  
At the moment, Kes is the only person I can talk to. While helping her in the Hydropondics Bay, I explained my feelings about the wormhole to her. She seemed to understand. Gods! What a relief to find someone I can be honest with. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48604.37 - How could I have been so stupid? What the hell was I thinking?  
  
Once again, I've gone ahead of myself. This is what happened. VOYAGER encountered a race called the Baneans. They offered to help repair VOYAGER's busted ?. The Captain ordered Harry to the Banean homeworld, to confer with their top scientist on the repairs. And since they were at war with another race called the Numeri, guess who had to fly Harry to Banea? That's right! Me.  
  
Gods! If only Captain Janeway had sent another pilot. If only Doctor Ren had been married to an older and less attractive woman. Hell! If only I had listened to Harry and Liddell, I would not be in this mess! Liddell Ren. The moment I laid eyes upon her, I fell in deep lust. Very beautiful and obviously very bored with her marriage. And since I was bored listening to Harry and the Doctor discuss engineering, I decided to focus my attention on the gorgeous mistress of the house.  
  
Poor Doctor Ren ended up murdered - stabbed in the heart. The Baneans accused me of the deed, claiming that the good doctor's memory engrams clearly showed that I was guilty. Only, I don't remember stabbing the man. Nor do I remember kissing Liddell in the Arterium. Unfortunately, the Baneans didn't believe me, thanks to those memory engrams. And now, they have convicted me of murder and punished me by grafting Doctor Ren's engrams with my own. Every fourteen hours, I have to relive the memory of the murder through his eyes. Something is not right. The murder couldn't have happened like this! Fortunately, the Captain and Tuvok arrived on Banea to investigate and return me to VOYAGER. I only hope they can get me out of this mess. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48607.42 - Thank goodness for Tuvok! If it weren't for him, I would have spent the rest of my life, reliving false memories of Doctor Ren's murder, every 14 hours. Considering how those engrams were frying my neural pathways, I would not have lived very long.  
  
Tuvok discovered that I was being used as a courier between the Numeri, and Doctor ? and Liddell, who were both traitors and spies for the former. Great! Just what I always wanted to be. As for Doctor Ren's memories - it turned out that Doctor ? planted altered memories onto my neural pathways.  
  
Harry told me that he would never do what I did. Fool around with the wrong woman. But he will. One day. And I told him so. Okay, maybe Harry's comments did irk me a bit. But I was serious when I told him that one day, he could meet the wrong woman. It happens to a lot of guys. Including straight arrows like Harry.  
  
I found Lieutenant Tuvok in the Mess Hall and thanked him for clearing me of murder. In his usual Vulcan fashion, he claimed that he would have otherwise if I had been guilty. But I thanked him, anyway. Maybe for being himself, for once. Ohters would have naturally assumed the worst and not bother to investigate the matter. Tuvok had approached the case in his usual objective manner, thank goodness. As for the rest of the crew - well, they had all assumed I was guilty, until Tuvok proved otherwise. With the exception of the Captain, Harry, the Doctor and Kes. Thank goodness for friends. And the Doctor. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48635.01 - Will miracles cease to exist? I don't think so. Especially after I was approached by one of the Delaney sisters for a favor. It seems that Jenny has developed an interest in a certain Operations chief and would like me to arrange a date. Knowing Harry's devotion to a certain fiancée, 70,000 light years away, I realize it would be difficult to arrange this date. I've already tried it once and it didn't work. Maybe I can try bribery. Or blackmail. Hmmm, then again, Ensign Eager isn't the type to succumb to bribery. And he hasn't done anything worth blackmailing over. Oh well. Maybe I'll just pester him to death. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48638.27 - What do you know? Pestering him to death, actually worked! In the end, I finally got that double date I wanted earlier. Harry, Jenny, Megan and I had the date in Holodeck One, enjoying the charms of Venice. Well, Megan and I were able to enjoy Venice. I can't say the same for Harry and Jenny. They went for a ride in a gondola and in her enthusiasm to seduce Harry, poor Jenny overexerted herself and both ended up in the Grand Canal - heads first. Gods! If I didn't feel sorry for Harry, I would have laughed. (Pauses) Okay, I did laugh. But only after Megan laughed first. Her laughter can be very contagious. So full of life. As for Harry and Jenny - I have a feeling they won't be dating for quite a while. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48643.26 - The whole ship knows about the date with Delaney sisters. Heck, even Torres and Seska were discussing it, while the former oogled the ship's Marble Model. I'm referring to, of course, Ensign Murphy. Actually, there are two Ensign Murphys. The other Murphy serves under Tuvok in Security, while the Marble Model is in the Science Division. I wonder what Torres sees in a man who resembles a Starfleet recruitment poster, anyway?  
  
At least I'm no longer on the Maquis' shit list. Harry and I actually managed to enjoy a conversation with Seska and Torres. Our little camaraderie didn't last very long. Chakotay summoned the Senior officers to the Bridge. It seemed Voyager came across a ship emitting a distress signal. The ship is from a nearby planet called Sikaris. And its inhabitants have invited the crew to spend a few days there, and partake in its pleasures. Sounds interesting. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48643.38 - Ah, Sikaris! I must say it was a beautiful planet with riches and food, galore for enjoyment. Many of the women seemed very attractive. Unfortunately, my enjoyment of the planet was nearly spoiled by my best friend.  
After befriending a Sikarian woman named Endana, Harry discovered that the Sikarians possessed some kind of trajector that permitted folded-space transport. This trajector could shorten Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant by 40,000 light years.  
  
I could only imagine Janeway's reaction when she heard the news. Excited. Relieved. To be honest, I didn't feel the same. The further Voyager remained from Earth, the better for me. Thanks to Harry's discovery of the trajector, the Alpha Quadrant had loomed pretty close. Too close. Thankfully, the Sikarians had a canon of laws similar to the Federation's Prime Directive. Their laws prevented them from introducing their technology to other cultures. You know, I usually have a dim view of the Prime Directive. I mean, what's the point of non-interference in an alien culture, when Starfleet is suppose to be about exploration? You can't explore unknown worlds without some kind of interference or influence - however unintentional. The Captain plans to approach the Sikarian government about making Voyager an exception to their rule. I hate to say this, but I hope she fails. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48648.68 - What a goddamn mess! Who would have thought a visit to a pleasure-seeking planet would end with Voyager being nearly destroyed by a warp core breach? And its Security Chief and Chief Engineer ending in deep shit with the Captain? Frankly, I'm just glad I'm not the one who messed up.  
  
The Sikarian Council had rejected Janeway's request for Voyager to use their trajector technology. Thank goodness! She had no choice but to abide by their decision. But it didn't end there. Harry's friend, Endana, introduced him to a Sikarian man named Jaret Otel, who was willing to break his world's law by trading the trajector technology for a library of Federation literature. Harry, Seska, Torres and I discussed it. I more or less told the others that they were wasting their time. The Captain might consider Otel's offer, but in the end, she would never go against Federation principles.  
  
Of course, I was right. But Janeway's decision did not stop Tuvok and Torres from making the exchange with Otel. And when Voyager finally left orbit, the trajector proved to be incompatible with Federation technology and nearly caused a warp core breach. I learned from Harry that Seska and Joe Carey were also involved in this scheme, but only Tuvok and Torres got chewed out. If she had done worse, Voyager would have ended up with Rollins or Pete Durst as Security Chief. And Sue Nicoletti as Chief Engineer. I'm just glad that damn trajector never worked. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48662.6 - Will the Universe ever cease to amaze me? It certainly didn't, today. Who would have thought? Seska, a Cardassian! Not only was she a Cardassian, but an agent of the Obsidian Order, assigned to infiltrate the Maquis! What can I say? I'm shocked. (Pauses) Then again, knowing Seska's character, maybe not.  
  
Thanks to encounter with a damaged Kazon-Nistrim ship, we learned that someone aboard Voyager had been trading Federation technology to the Kazon in exchange for their protection. Suspects came down to two people - Seska and Joe Carey. Not surprisingly, most of the 'Fleeters suspected Seska and the Maquis, Carey. My choice was Seska. When I told Harry, both Torres and Ayala overheard me. "Starfleet to the end, right Paris?" Torres had said with her usual sneer.  
  
I had told her that my Starfleet background had nothing to do with my opinion. "I don't know Carey that well," I said, "but I know Seska. I don't trust her within an inch of my life. She has the brains and imagination to pull something like this. And you all know how she feels about Federation principles." To everyone's surprise, Ayala agreed. It seemed he never really trusted Seska, either.  
  
After Seska's escape to another Kazon ship, most of the Maquis walked around, either in a daze or looking humiliated. Especially Chakotay. He was, after all, Seska's loudest defender and former lover. Poor Chakotay. He was always a lousy judge of character. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48671.28 - Just came back from a date with Megan Delaney. Alone, this time. We had an intimate little dinner at a romantic restaurant on Gerdi Prime, inside Holodeck Two. After supper, we enjoyed a walk along the beach, followed by a nightcap inside my quarters.  
  
Ah, Megan! Such a nice, calm person, in compare to her sister, Jenny. There were times when she almost reminds me of . . . Shit! What the hell is wrong with me? I just enjoyed a pleasant night with a beautiful and intelligent woman and all I can think about is our cook's girlfriend. Kes. Gods, will I ever stop thinking about her? Or better yet, will she ever dump Neelix? End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48695.34 - I nearly lost Harry, today. While enjoying his Beowulf holonovel, Harry was captured by a photonic being that had been accidentally brought aboard the ship, while we were gathering energy from a photostar. The being took refuge in Harry's Beowulf program and later captured him. It also captured Tuvok and Chakotay, after they were sent to investigate Harry's disappearance. In the end, the Captain sent the Doctor to rescue our missing officers. Thankfully, the Doc succeeded and received a special commendation for his troubles. Now, if only the Captain could order Torres to do something about his personality subroutines. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48733.51 - Voyager had a strange encounter with something out of one of those old "B" movies that I usually enjoy. While investigating some dark nebula, Tuvok and Chakotay's shuttle was attacked. Tuvok only sustained minor injuries, wihle the good Commander ended up brain dead. His bio-neural energy had been removed from him.  
  
It turned out worse than we thought. Some trianic energy being had possessed Tuvok, in an attempt to convince the Captain to investigate this dark nebula matter. The being belonged to a race called the Komar, who wanted the crew's bio-neural energy as substance for his people. Meanwhile, another entity began invading the minds of other crewmen - including mine - in an attempt to prevent Voyager from entering that nebula. This second entity turned out to be Chakotay's bio-neural energy, displaced by the Komar's attack. Just great! My brain nearly became food for a bunch of non-corporeal beings and was twice possessed by the Great Spirit Chief, himself. Oh well, at least we managed to escape the nebula and the Komar. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48736.53 - This afternoon, Neelix had decided to hold a little celebration in honor of Chakotay's recovery and our near escape from the Komar. Jesus, this guy would just about hold a party for anything. Not that I mind. The more parties, the better. I suspect that this was Neelix's way of celebrating Kes's recovery from an attack by the Komar-possessed Tuvok. Hmmm. Certainly not a bad reason to celebrate, in my book.  
  
Captain Janeway and the Maquis seemed to be the only ones really celebrating. I guess they need something to celebrate after Seska's humiliating revelation. Well, most of the Maquis seemed happy. I noticed B'Elanna Torres, sitting by herself and shooting jealous looks at the very chummy Captain Janeway and Chakotay. Gods! Is that little infatuation of hers, still going on? Doesn't she realize that Chakotay is not her type? Too bad Harry is still mooning over his lost love, Libby. Quite frankly, he would make a better choice for Torres. Of course, I don't exactly relish sharing Harry's time with her. (Beep beep) That must be Megan. I forgot that she was coming by for drinks, tonight. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48766.73 - Not much happened today. Voyager investigated a Class J nebula - one of many we have encountered since our arrival in the Delta Quadrant. The only interesting thing that happened was a minor conversation with Kes in the Mess Hall. We discussed some our favorite foods. One of hers happens to be something called Lokar beans. I told her about tomato soup (something those damn replicators haven't got right) and peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. My ultimate comfort food. By then, even Neelix got into the conversation. I don't know if this was his way of keeping an eye on Kes and me, or merely just genuine interest. At least we managed to exchange a few words without any hostility or suspicion from him. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48777.42 - Another dull day in the Delta Quadrant. I guess every day can't be an exciting encounter with a new species. Voyager stumbled into the Avery system. It seemed to consist of several Class M planets. The Captain, in one of her bouts of "science exploration", decided she wanted an investigation of magnacite formations on some of the planets.  
  
I was assigned to explore the planet, Avery III with Pete Durst and B'Elanna Torres. Voyager should rendezvous with us in two days. I guess it won't be that bad. Pete's okay. He was one of the few crewmen who had been friendly toward me from the beginning. And as for Torres - well, have managed to strike up a cordial relationship in the last five or six weeks. Hell, it's a lot better than spending two days with Chakotay or Neelix. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48790.33 - Gods! I simply don't know where to begin! I feel as if I had taken part in some bizarre horror vid from the 20th century. Sigh! Might as well get it over with.  
  
While investigating magnacite formations on Avery III with Durst and Torres, we were captured by Vidiians. That's right. The same species who had stolen Neelix's lungs, three months ago. These Vidiians didn't simply steal our organs. They forced Pete and myself to become part of their slave labor. I had no idea what happened to B'Elanna. Until the following day. It seemed some Vidiian doctor named Sulan had extracted her Klingon DNA, leaving her completely Human. How gruesome!  
  
I still remember the shock of seeing B'Elanna completely Human for the first time. Oddly enough, I was too surprised by the change to notice her looks. I must admit that she looked beautiful. But then, I've always thought she made a beautiful Klingon/Human hybrid. Not only had her looks changed, but her personality, as well. Gone was the tough and temperamental woman and in her place, an emotional and sad woman, driven by fear. I guess the trauma of her situation drove her to be a little more open about her past. She told me about her childhood on Kessik IV and how she blamed her Klingon side for driving her father away. She has not seen him in nearly twenty years. If that's true, the man is an idiot. (Pauses) I think I'm getting a little personal, here. Anyway, I tried to comfort her with a little revelation of my own. I told her about the haircuts Dad used to enforce upon me, at the beginning of every summer. I don't think it worked. Then again . . . she did smile a little.  
  
Then everything went from bad to worse. The Vidiian guards took Pete Durst away. That was the last time I saw him. I tried to prevent the guards from taking him, but they didn't want me. Can't blame them, I guess. Who would? I later found out that they didn't want Pete to send a message to Voyager. Instead, that monster, Dr. Sulan had Pete's face grafted upon his. The guards came back for B'Elanna, leaving me feel even more useless. God only know how long I would have remained part of the slave labor force, if Chakotay hadn't shown up, disguised as a Vidiian. Too bad we couldn't take the Talaxian with us, but the guards were even reluctant to let me go. We found two B'Elannas being confronted by Dr. Sulan, with Pete's face plastered to his skin. I don't know what shocked me more - seeing both a Klingon and a Human B'Elanna at the same time, Dr. Sulan, or witnessing Klingon B'Elanna's death after she saved her counterpart's life. Too bad she died. I would have liked to know her. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48791.56 - I still can't help thinking about that Away mission on Avery III. To me, it's a reminder of my failure as a Starfleet officer. I can't help but wonder what I could have done to avoid capture or save Pete. I had a dream about it, several hours ago. At one point, Human B'Elanna's face transformed into the dying Klingon B'Elanna's, and eventually into Dr. Sulan, with Pete's face. I woke up in a sweat, after that. Unable to sleep, I decided to head for Sick Bay to pay B'Elanna a visit. She still looked Human. Unfortunately, Chakotay was also there and they seemed to be sharing a tender moment I didn't want to interrupt. Oh well. Maybe I can read myself to sleep. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48799.76 - I finally spoke with B'Elanna. She came to my table, while I was eating a late dinner in the Mess Hall, last night. We were the only ones there. She looked normal. Her Klingon traits had returned, ridges and all. B'Elanna told me what happened to her on Avery III. Apparently, Dr. Sulan had used a genetron to remove her Klingon DNA, creating two B'Elannas in the process - one Klingon and one Human. He fell in love with the Klingon Human and used Pete's face to woo her. He must have been a sick man. Sulan also needed a full-blooded Klingon to test his theory that Klingon physiology was resistant to their phage. As it turned out, he was right.  
  
B'Elanna told me that after her Klingon couterpart's death, she had assumed she would remain completely Human. I guess the Doc ruined that dream when he informed her that he needed to restore her original genetic structure, using Klingon B'Elanna's DNA. She seemed disappointed that she would never be completely Human. I'm not. Although I found both her Human and Klingon selves to be beautiful, she seems more interesting as a hybrid. I even told her so. My little remark managed to produce a small smile, but I could tell that she didn't draw much comfort from it. I hope that one day, she will learn to appreciate her true self. She can really be fascinating. Now, if only I can learn to do the same about myself. Hmmm, fat chance of that ever happening.   
  
Anyway, B'Elanna thanked me for supporting her during our captivity. We also discussed Pete Durst, whose face is now grafted upon that mad bastard's own face. When I asked if she would like to accompany me to Sandrine's, she declined. B'Elanna told me that she needed more rest. Oh well. At least we've finally buried the hatchet between us and can finally become good friends. I guess that's one thing I can be grateful about Avery III. End personal log.  
  
  
  
STARDATE 48804.91 - Gods, I'm exhausted! Not a surprise, since I had my sleep interrupted by a call from the Bridge. Crewman Henley failed to show up for Gamma shift. Again. This is the third time in two months. I had to give her a personal reprimand the last two times. Last night, I personally roused Henley from bed and ordered her to report to the Bridge. Or consider herself on report. After a fifteen minute debate, which ended with me threatening her with the Brig, she complied. I really don't know what to do with her. I can't threaten her with the Brig, forever. I also realize that she resents being stuck on a Starfleet vessel, thousands of light years away from home. But one day, she will have to realize that she has very little options. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48837.63 - Voyager stopped at an M-class called Napinne. Pleasant little place. And the inhabitants were also pleasant. Harry, B'Elanna and myself visited the surface for a few hours, while the Captain, Neelix and Chakotay set about obtaining food supplies. With the fruits and vegetables now growing in the Hydropondics Bay, hopefully Voyager won't be so dependent upon food supplies from other planets, stations and ships in the near future. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48840.42 - Once more, Crewman Henley failed to appear for her duty shift. This time, I put her on report. Not long after I finished Alpha shift, today, Chakotay requested my presence in his office. To discuss Henley, unsurprisingly. He wanted me to reconsider my decision to put Henley on report. Give her a chance to fit in with the crew. Then he bored me with some speech about   
  
Starfleet officers learning how to lead subordinates. Something that already bored me to tears during Command school. The big hypocrite! I can't believe this is the same man who has given me nothing but grief since we first laid eyes upon each other. Hell, I've been giving Henley a chance for six months! At least until now. Like it or not, both she and Chakotay were going to have to live with that reprimand on her record. Being an ex-Maquis, I doubt that Henley even cared. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48845.9 - After Tuvok's encounter with Ken Dalby, the Captain has ordered Henley, Dalby and a few others to undergo basic Starfleet training, under Tuvok. Poor bastards! Meanwhile, various ship malfunctions have plagued the crew, since leaving Napinne. Something to do with the bio-gel packs. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48854.3 - Life aboard Voyager has returned to normal, thank goodness. No more malfunctions for the time being. The Captain ordered the ship's systems to overheat, in order to kill the virus that had infected the gel packs. Gods, the Bridge almost felt like a furnace. For a while, I wondered if I would ever be able to breathe again. All thanks to that damn cheese Neelix had purchased during our stay on Napinne.   
  
Henley and the others are still undergoing their field training. Must be working, since Henley has reported for duty without any problems. She also requested additional training in shuttle maneuvers in the holodeck. We'll probably never be friends, but thank goodness I no longer have a troublemaker on my hands. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48892.4 - Harry told me an unusual tale. The Doctor's programming and the holodeck systems had malfunctioned, thanks to the kino-plastic radiation from a anomaly that Voyager came across. While stuck in one of the holodecks for six hours, the Doctor believed he was a real person named Lewis Zimmerman and that Voyager and the crew were all a holographic simulation. He even thought Kes was his wife. Sigh! I knew it. I've always suspected that the Doc had eyes for our favorite Ocampan. And this only proves it. Kes is quickly becoming quite the little heartbreaker on this ship. She has already captured mine. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48921.4 - Gods, this has certainly been a day to remember! I've just spent hours at the Helm, dodging a swarm of . . . hell, I don't what they were! Some kind of life forms that resembled a . . . Okay, they resembled human sperm. There! I said it. I only Starfleet Command never get a hold of this log. Although the creatures resembled sperm, they had mistaken Voyager as some kind of sexual mate. Even worse, they began draining energy from the ship's systems, in their attempt to procreate. More problems appeared when a large creature appeared also began to regard Voyager as a mate. Jeez! I didn't realize the ship looked that desirable! Both Torres and Tuvok wanted to destroy the creature, but Chakoay suggested that Voyager mimic the smaller ones, giving the impression to the large creature that we have no interest in procreation with space born creatures. Ha! Sex in the Delta Quadrant!  
  
Speaking of sex, the Captain made a joke to the Commander about referring to expertise whenever the subject of procreation appears. It wasn't the joke that caught my attention, but the way she said. I do believe our captain was flirting. The look on B'Elanna's face was certainly memorable. She seemed completely shocked. When I brought up the topic in the Mess Hall, she gave me a death glare that rivaled the mighty Janeway herself. I see that she still has that crush on Chakotay. Gods, when will it ever end?  
  
Then again, who am I to complain? I still have feelings for Kes. In my case, I can say that it's more than a crush. Before our encounter with the swarm, I helped her gather Oblissian cabbages from the Hydropondics Bay. On our way to the turbolift, we encountered Chakotay, along with Ensigns Bennett and Gallagher. It seems the good Commander caught them "fraternizing" in the turbolift. Hmm, maybe the Captain was right about him being the right man to solicit advice about procreation. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48925.38 - Plenty of surprises awaited me, when I found Kes in the Hydropondics Bay, following my shift. First surprise - Ensign Sam Wildman from the Science Division is pregnant. It seems that Ensign Wildman, who happened to be a very nice lady, left behind a Ktarian husband on Deep Space Nine. Considering how flat her stomach looked, my first guess was that she sought solace in the arms of a crewman, here on board Voyager. After all, Voyager has been in the Delta Quadrant for over seven months, now. But according to Kes, the embroyo is definitely half-Ktarian. Hmm, maybe Ktarians have a longer gestation period.  
  
The other surprise? Kes informed me that the electrophoretic activity from the swarm, yesterday, had sped up her elogium. Namely, the sexual maturation for Ocampan females. They usually go through this phase between the ages of four and five. And since this elogium would have been Kes' only shot at conception, she asked Neelix to mate with her.  
  
Neelix and Kes as parents. Gods! Now there's an image that makes me shudder! At first, Neelix felt reluctant. Hell, if I had known, I would have offered Kes my services. However, Neelix eventually agreed to mate with her, but she changed her mind, after realizing that she was not ready for parenthood. Kes' elogium ended when Voyager left the swarm behind. I thought she had lost her chance at motherhood and was prepared to console her. But Kes assured me that her elogium was false and the real phase will probably return after her fourth birthday. I only hope she and Neelix are no longer a twosome by then. I realize it's a rotten thing to say, but I can't help feeling they're wrong for each other. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48946 - Gods, I must really be pathetic! While playing pool with Harry and B'Elanna in Sandrine's, last night, I spotted Kes and Neelix cuddling around a corner table, happy as pie. Depressing sight. In typical Tom fashion, I decided to hide my disappointment by flirting with nearly every female in sight. Except with B'Elanna, of course. One doesn't flirt with a close friend. I guess the old Paris charm must have worked. Later that night, I ended up in bed with Yoshi Kyoto. After I "subtly" sneaked out of bed this morning, Yoshi caught me. She assured me that she wasn't looking for a permanent relationship. I'm relieved . . . but now, I also feel like a complete shit. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48964.07 - Today was Kes' birthday. Sigh! Kes' birthday. Huh. All I can say is that it certainly didn't turn out the way I had expected. Not long after we surprised her with a party inside Sandrine's, Voyager encountered a distortion ring that transformed the ship into a labyrinth. First, the Captain, Chakotay and I got lost, while searching for the Bridge. We ended back inside Holodeck One. Later, Torres and I used the turbolift to reach Engineering. To my surprise, we were fortunate. Thanks to the distortion ship, B'Elanna almost walked in on Crewman Nozawa, inside his quarters, dressed only in his skivvies. Let's just say it the first time I ever saw a Klingon woman blush. A sight, I suspect, I'll never see again.  
  
The distortion ring proved to be the third or fourth noncorporeal life form we've encountered since our arrival in the Delta Quadrant. And all it wanted to do was greet us and exchange information. Hell of a way to say hello. Both B'Elanna and Chakotay nearly came to blows with Tuvok on how to stop the distortion ring. In the end, Tuvok had the best suggestion. Do nothing.  
  
Kes' birthday party turned out to be a disappointment. I have her a gold filigree locket as a present. She seemed stunned by it - much to my delight. That delight didn't last. After our encounter with the distortion ring, the party eventually resumed. Kes, who had been worried by Neelix's disappearance, declared that she wanted a photo of him, inside her locket. Great! Just great! A photo of Neelix's mug will be inside the locket I gave her. Even worse, I had to stand there on the Bridge and hold Kes' birthday cake, while she and Neelix locked lips.  
  
Sigh! I'm beginning to think that my feelings for Kes are just as hopeless as B'Elanna's feelings toward Chakotay. But I can't help. All I can do is hope that she realizes one day that Neelix is not the man for her. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48972.4 - Voyager came across an old 1936 Chevy truck, here in the Delta Quadrant! Being a connoisseur of anything 20th century Earth, my heart nearly leapt with excitement at the sight of that old vehicle. I even got a chance to demonstrate how the truck's engine worked, once Harry tractor it to Voyager. I don't think he, the Captain and the others appreciated the noise or the carbon monoxide.  
  
The truck also emitted an old S-O-S signal that led us to an L-Class planet not far away. The trinimbic interference in the planet's upper atmosphere made the shuttles and the transporters, ineffective. So, the Captain ordered me to land Voyager on the planet's surface. All I can say that it was one of the most thrilling moments in my life. And I did it without a hitch.  
  
The Captain, Harry and members of the Away team not only found a Lockheed Electra aircraft (which I would have loved to get my hands on), but several Humans in cryostasis. Kes and I later joined the Captain and Harry for a closer inspection. Would you believe it? Among the Humans were the legendary pilot, Amelia Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan. It seemed she, Noonan and the other Humans had been abducted from Earth by aliens over 400 years ago, during the late 1930s. Voyager has discovered the mystery of Earhart's disappearance. If only the Alpha Quadrant knew. Noonan proved to be a paranoid who managed to hold us hostage. The Captain eventually convinced him and Miss Earhart that we meant them no harm. Also, a group of aliens had fired upon Tuvok, Chakotay and another Away team. Harry told me that after the Captain disarmed them, she discovered that they were also Humans. Boy! Things really seemed to be heating up! End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48974.55 - I did it. I decided to remain aboard Voyager and continue the journey to the Alpha Quadrant. I'm probably the only crewman, who has a good reason to remain on New Earth. Well, it's not really called New Earth, but that's what most of the crew has decided to name the planet.  
  
It seemed the planet's original inhabitants, a race called the Briori, were the ones responsible for abducting Amelia Earhart, Noonan and 289 other Humans from Earth. They brought the Humans to this planet to serve as slave labor. However, the slaves revolted, killed the Briori and established a new civilization. Hence, New Earth. I even managed to visit one of the cities. Gods, it really surprised me on how it closely resembled San Francisco. Maybe that's the reason I decided not to remain behind. It simply reminded me too much of Earth. Too much of the bad times I had endured. But I must admit that Kes' decision to remain aboard Voyager played a part in my decision. Along with the feeling that I could not abandon the Captain. Not after all she has done for me.  
  
I also got a chance to show Miss Earhart, Voyager's helm. I don't know about her, but I got a big thrill. Miss Earhart, Mr. Noonan and the other "37s" (the original ones abducted), decided to remain on New Earth. I wish them all the luck in the world. Meanwhile, not one member of the crew decided to remain behind. Hmmm. I thought at least the Maquis crewmen would consider. I guess not. End personal log.  
  
  
STARDATE 48999.17 - New Year's Eve. Huh. I can't remember the last time I celebrated the New Year. Oh yeah, it happened two years ago and I was at this casino on Perdon Gel. With that . . . Gods, what was her name? Damn! I don't even remember.  
  
Anyway, the Captain gave us permission to celebrate the arrival of 2372 at Sandrine's. Neelix has even volunteered to create a few delicacies to entertain the crew. In defense of our stomachs, the Conn Division pooled their replicator rations to provide refreshments not cooked by Neelix. I'm sure the crew will thank us. Meanwhile, I have to shower and change for the party. I'm suppose to take Marie Kaplan and I'm already running late. If I don't return until tomorrow, Happy New Year! End personal log.  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
